Thursday, Mar. 09, 2006 at 16:39
I feel sad for a lot of people. Most people donít realize when they say something theyíre mentioning a lot more than they realize. I was taught to speak good about people, to forgive people for their faults. With the way many people behave nowadays, Iím wondering if this is still instilled into kids anymore.
Thereís an old saying, ďIt takes one to know one.Ē Most people use it as a defensive phrase when they are being commented on negatively by others. They just use it to defend and attack at the same time but most people, though, do not comprehend the whole truth of this statement. Thereís another saying that, sort of, ties in with this saying which is, ďIf youíve got nothing nice to say, donít say anything.Ē This is a saying that I have personally tried to adopt into my life. Iím not perfect at it, by far, but when practiced it yielded tremendous results. Life really changed, in a good way, for me when I first started putting this into practice. It forced me to notice and say all the good things in other people. I made a discovery when I did this. All people have good and bad points. Now this is not a new discovery and Iím sure everybody has heard this. I have heard it many times myself but it was certainly different to realize it for oneís self. I also learnt that if I focused on all the good points of a person I would end up liking that person and that person would like me back in return. Likewise, when I focused on the bad, I and that person would have a mutual dislike for each other. I found this out when I started practicing not saying anything bad about people. This practice garnered me an abnormally large group of people who seemed so happy to see me. It felt weird at first but nice. But I still was a bit cautious. Later on, I understood itís because I actually said what is nice about that person that that person appreciated me. A point to note however is that with some people you have to look extremely hard in order to find what is good in and about them. But all people have something good in them.
There is another saying similar to, ďIt takes one to know one,Ē which is, ďWhat I see in you, I see in myself.Ē This statement is less popular but it provided a whole new understanding of people for me. You see, we do not see reality. We see only our perception of reality. That means that two people can look at the same thing but will have a different point of view. So one person will say boulder but another will say a great spot to suntan. Whenever we come across something new that we have never encountered before, we have to take time to understand it as best as we can, at the time, and classify it somehow so that we can accept it. For instance, when we first come across something thatís flat and has four legs, someone teaches us to call it a stool. We digest the information and store it somewhere in our brain. The next time we come across something thatís flat and has four legs we search the database in our brain and we come up with the word stool. So, in order to understand what we see, we have to search within ourselves. This is why psychologists and philosophers say that our perception of our reality is a reflection of ourselves. We can only understand what we hear, see, smell and touch when that understanding exists within us. So the stool exists within our minds in order for us to recognize it in reality. So we understand stool but the next time we see something flat with four legs, we get corrected. Itís not a stool but a table. This is new information and has to be processed by our minds. Now both the understanding of table and stool exist within us and we are able to differentiate more of reality.
So when people make judgments about someone. They are most likely talking about themselves (Now, there is a proper way to do judgments but most people donít practice it as it requires one to use their brain. As Henry Ford stated, most people donít know how to think). I remember this one time I was hanging out with a group of people when I had to leave. So I then told my friend that I have to go. He had no problem with it but someone else thought that I was showing off and being arrogant. All I said was, ďI have to leave.Ē Why was my friend ok with it while this other person was not? Basically, my friend understands what itís like to be busy whereas this other person was not. So, what this other person was saying is that if he were to do the same thing as I did which was to say, ďI have to leaveĒ. He would say it in order to show off and be arrogant. This is also why I try not to say anything bad about people and things because someone might be able to see the ugliness in me. So, in turn, I try to mention only what is good because I know that what I say is also a reflection of me.
An attempt to write once again
Saturday, Jan. 07, 2006 at 02:46
So much happens in my life. I was shooting yesterday, I had photography today, then a meeting, I've met so many people, I've made numerous new friends, lost some friends, remade old friendships, made a lot of people hate me, found a new love, became a couple that lots of people comment about, found new dreams, let go of some old ones, got happy, got sad, got ecstatic, got shy, got burned, getting reluctant...
... to update. I'm forcing myself to write but I'm extremely resistant. I'm frustrated and learning to be more cautious with what I say and write. I keep making the mistake of assuming that people would be understanding. I stopped communicating because I didn't know what not to say anymore.
I've made a discovery. I finally understand how and why certain people don't or unable to think. The funny thing is that they think that they're thinking but they're not. I've come to realise that most people, when it comes to using their brain, are emotion driven. They let their emotions dictate what they think. And then what they think produces more emotions which in turn makes them think about other things that causes them to be more emotional. I watched a lady recently who, because of some incident, became jealous. And then started to say things to rationalize her emotions and thereby became more jealous. And everytime she spoke her emotions got stronger and angrier until finally I thought she was going to explode with rage. It confused me, for I have seen rugby players do this while at the same time listening to some energy charged song but that was to psyche themselves up for a game. This seemed to serve no purpose except self torture. Maybe at a subconscious level it allows one to do something irrational but at a conscious level it's just plain stupid. Because the point is that she did not have to torture herself but she did. And at that point in time I happened to know that she was not completely informed and jumping to conclusion. It made me start asking why? It made me realise that these types of people are not thinking. They are just going with the flow of their emotions and letting that dictate what is in their thoughts. There is no objectivity in it at all. The funny thing is that they actually think that they are thinking and intelligent. But they're not. They don't know how to think. They don't know how to differentiate between thinking and emotions. I feel it necessary here to state that I feel that thinking is more analitical and logical rather than emotional. We can't totally separate thinking and emotion, of course, but for me proper thinking is when rationale is in control rather than emotion. Please don't misunderstand and think that I think I'm so great or what. No. It was just a very eye opening discovery for me. One that brought a certain amount of relief too. It's helped me be more accepting of people when I see them do stupid things. It also helps me catch myself too.
Although I am glad that I've written something down, I feel reluctant to actually post this. It's easy when people say nice things but lately... *sigh*
LAST FIVE ENTRIES
Reflections - Thursday, Mar. 09, 2006
An attempt to write once again - Saturday, Jan. 07, 2006
In need of a hug - Monday, Sept. 05, 2005
Over - Sunday, Aug. 21, 2005
A short ramble - Monday, Jul. 18, 2005